Where can I turn for peace?

Where can I turn for peace
Where is my solace
When other sources cease
To make me whole
When with a wounded heart
Anger, or malice
I draw myself apart
Searching my soul

Where, when my aching grows
Where, when I languish
Where, in my need to know
Where can I run
Where is the quiet hand
To calm my anguish
Who, who can understand
He, only One

He answers privately
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane
Savior and Friend
Gentle the peace he finds
For my beseeching
Constant he is and kind
Love without end
________________________________________________

Father, how do I turn from Thee so fast? How can I push
Thee, and Thy Son away so quickly? I don't know, but I hate
it. I want to show Thee that I love Thee. These times are proving
to be quite difficult.
I'm scared.
It's my own fault, though.
The consequences of sin are hardly easy to bear.

I really hope that Christopher does well on his test on Monday
(I thought it was Tuesday). The job as a police dispatcher pays
pretty well. We need the money so bad. That's an understatement.
We're getting married in 183 days, and we have 0 dollars.
I'm not kidding.
What with me being on probation and all--that makes it near
impossible for me to get a job because everywhere does background
searches. I'm so baffled that I'm paying now for a crime I committed
in October of 2007.
The consequences of sin are hardly easy to bear.
A taste of my own medicine.
I don't care if we hardly have any furniture. I just want to live,
somewhere, with Christopher. I don't want to be away from my
soon-to-be eternal companion longer than I have to be.
Even now, it's so hard. I hate having to say "goodbye" at night,
when I'd much rather just sleep in his (ridiculously comfortable) bed.
Chris, just marry me now. Do it.

Okay, so since this is "supposed" to be like a journal, I guess I'll tell
you what I did today.
Adam woke me up this morning at 7 (even though school was canceled)
with a startled grunt--he obviously did not know that I had spent the night.
I couldn't fall back asleep because Chris' couch literally kills my back.
So, Christopher saved me by letting me sleep in his room.....for five more
hours. Ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous? I pretty much ate
an entire pizza by myself. Also, I could have eaten more.
Blah, blah, blah. My life is so boring.
Anyways, Chris went to work, I drove home, I bought celery, and did Wii Fit.
Now, I will do homework for 5 and a half hour until it's time to "wake up."
That's right, world. All. Nighter.